No Sugar, No Cry LITERALLY

well I can just say that I feel absolutely miserable and totally out of whack, and more than I have been In a long time. I think I really have come to the realisation, that when I don't have sugar, I don't bloody CRY. So right now I feel so tearfully disconnected, I have no energy and my face feels like stone, and as 'floppy' as a rag doll. What on earth is going on? and how can something that tastes so insatiably gorgeous, and give you a feeling of love and contentment, suddenly leave you feeling wrecked and abandoned. I must admit I have been struggling lately with my mood, and it has been on the lower side for some time now(winter blues perhaps), I stuck to paleo, but as I got lower, that feeling of sinking made me reach out for those SUGARY life buoys, which seemed like they were TOSSED out to me to stop me from drowning in my pool of hopelessness. And now I am worse! GRAINS have also been suspect, not long after eating bread I have this slow mo feeling that I am sinking. I stare, don't think and just want to crawl into bed and fall into a coma. Now the combination of the two-sugar and grains has disabled me, made me anxious, depressed, paranoid, aggressive, tearful and slide showing me morbid thoughts of events that have not happened (and wont) but convinced that they will. Nothing like being to scared to drive anywhere for fear that your going to run down a pedestrian, or thinking your going to get T'boned at every intersection! I now count out loud how long I need to wait at a stop sign(3secs) look back and forth several times, fearing a car may appear out of no where, before flat footing it -just in case. OMG talk about crazy, I often forget where the hell I am driving. As for the car parks at the shopping centre I drive to where there are at least 3 spaces, as I am convinced the car park spaces have got smaller! and in no way can I maneuver my car in there. What to do??? hmmmm I guess try again, but I have to get to the bottom of it all as to why I am so low to start with. No sunshine,Cold temperatures, Isolation, change, all of these could have dont it. SADS season affective disorder, maybe I need a big ass! full spectrum light bulb to blare on me all day. Who Knows all I can say is I will NOT eat SUGAR or GRAINS for 90 days and see if I can pull myself out in the first 30...My first goal is getting through day one so I will check in tomorrow with my menu and how I went. F### it! I can do this I am not giving up!

It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan

-Eleanor Roosevelt

PIC ABOVE- vanilla cupcakes made to perfection, when they are at their most dangerous! bloody bastard things why on earth was I so compelled to make them?

Burned And Regrowth

Well it has been a long time since my last post, I really have not been motivated at all to write anything and with my current lifestyle-totally sideways, I feel I have been a tad overwhelmed with everything. I have been reading way to much(its all I have), doing less, trying to cope with changes at work, obsessing with how I look, kids, dogs, cats, and, a husband who thinks I have lost the plot! I seriously was hoping everyone would come on board with what I am trying to do, and they are NOT! It so is not fair and I truly hoped my sledge hammer approach would bang it in to their darling heads, hmm I need to try a very sly approach, passive aggressive! After all, I am only trying to set them up to manage a healthy lifestyle for the rest of their lives. I know I am a different mother to them now than what I was 5-10-20yrs ago, thanks to self education- which is vital to survive, because if you never do the homework you will never know and live believing everything what is put in front of you. Well that is what I am trying to teach them.

I cant believe how much of me has 'emerged' the last few years, I would like to say changed, but I don't think I have changed, I have developed and EMERGED! So those parts of me that have been sitting silently waiting, have taken a step forward, so I was always there but people never saw it.One thing about me is I never AGE restrict myself, what I mean by that is if there was anything of interest that I want to do, I do it! No matter what age I am. So if I want to bench press 40kg I will and( I know my mother at the age of 46yrs or my aunties didn't do that), nor did they read the 100's of topics or books that I have read, nor did they do Karate and obtain coloured belts, nor did they photograph all the food that she cooked . The list goes on and on, but that is exactly it! So nothing against my gorgeous mum but I remember as a child being told by adults that they were TO OLD to participate, what! bullshit! Is this the reason why some are obese?, have diabetes?, heart disease? and died early ?because they were all to old to LEARN, MOVE and CARE! My biggest fear is being riddled with arthritis from my toxic inflamed body and to frail and weak to get my own meal at my 90th birthday(assuming I live that long on a polluted diet) and someone waiting on me hand and foot. No way in hell! am I giving up pursuing the best in me. So food and movement with always be my primary target and I hope soon I can eradicate all that manufactured zombie food out of our lives and move in ways I never have.

so where was I? well ...........

The last month has been an absolute challenge, I had slipped into a depressed state and I allowed 'other' parts of me to well and truly leap out and wreak havoc on me, mostly with food and yes SUGAR! This has taken a toll on my health and I went down hill quickly, and now I am laid up in bed with raging tonsillitis and my recovery is painfully slow. So I know now well and truly how dangerous SUGAR and trashy food are, but I just wish I could have that association with it(dangerous). If I was doused in flammable liquid I certainly would not go find a match would I?. I have also been feeling very isolated and alone recently with my job, and I feel even more so at home as I press on with how I want to live and eat. So with a brief detox I intend to dive deep into my 'ancestral' self and begin again. I have just bought a book called "the vegetarian myth' a book I know that will bring some guidance (relief) with all the confusion about what HUMANS should be eating and I highly recommend this book to everyone, vegetarian and vegan. I have a fair idea what my Ancestors of my country ate, but how do I fit it in to my life and especially my family is the question. I have tried RAW and still range between 50-80%, I have tried vegetarian and I have had a brief stint of vegan-ism, but I still did not feel right, that is health wise and now I feel quit content with paleo, which is low animal protein, moderate carbs(veg and small amounts of fruit) and high fat. 15/25/65 Ill see how I go. if anything ill tweak the carb and fat. And I think i'll rely on eating intuitively, I think it serves me well as I do love my veg only meals or even just fruit, much to the horror of my children. So OUT with all the shit food, definitely nothing refined, or manufactured I will allow small amounts of dairy such as organic yogurt, cream and paleo butter, and that pretty much it. Wish me luck

Above PIC

boiled free range organic eggs, slowed cooked kangaroo and carrots and a lovely pear. I had this for breakfast one morning

Ok some gratitude time

I would like to thank my beautiful mother for her love and gifts she has given me.

I would like to thank EMAZON Emma Barbato for her kick arse workshop 'STAND YOUR GROUND truly movemental! (if there is a new word to describe it).

I am grateful for my beautiful boys

I am grateful for all the people who shaped me into the person I am today

My plan for this week

recover from my illness

finish setting up my training area (ill be blogging this and putting up some videos of training)

Paleo menu for this week and aiming only for a 20% deficit on meal cals of course hoping the remaining deficit comes from MOVEMENT :)

draw a picture

bake some paleo cup cakes :)

Jen :)

The paleo way for me!!

Learn more about the Paleo Diet.

How I am going

Well it has been a few weeks since my last post and I am still on the slow food wagon. I have really kept to my eating plan and been quite creative with my meals. I eat legumes 4 times a week accompanied with a protein and a veg ie. eggs with beans and spinach, with 2 days a week with only protein, fruit, leafy veg and nuts. I am feeling really good! The two weekends have been a challenge and I ended up carbing on at least one day usually the Saturday. I really am missing my Chocolate and gave in on these occasions which always at night. I think it is part habit and taste (cocao)more so the sugar aspect. This weekend I had a party at my house and I ended up having bread with a sausage along with a small piece of Almond orange cake I made. I started my day with my slow carb meal and lunch as well and finished on a carb meal. I drank alcohol which was vodka with soda and was really not feeling the best the next day. All suffering the affects of each chosen 'poison'. So its Monday tomorrow and I will be back to slow carb again and hope that my loaded carb day on the weekend with be much healthier choices. As for my weight it has stayed the same but my size seems to have reduced as I managed to fit into a shirt that when previously put on has several inches space between the button hole and button. My only concern at the moment is my sleeping the last 2 weeks have been really hard and it has been a combination of being over heated, eating late, thinking to much and sleeping on my back, this causes me to breath to deeply when I sleep. So hoping to rectify this, this week! as my tiredness really prevents me from doing what I want to do.

Jen :)

5 reasons HFCS will Kill you!

http://drhyman.com/5-reasons-high-fructose-corn-syrup-will-kill-you-5050/?utm_source=Publicaster&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=drhyman%20newsletter%20issue%20#20&utm_term=Get+the+story

Bolognaise with raw spirooli Zucchini noodles.

How to

The only difference of course with this is the noodles. I use a raw zucchini and put it through a spirooli machine. If you peel the zucchini it looks more like the real thing. You can dress the zucchini with lemon and oil and let it wilt or plunge them into the hot sauce and leave to get a softer texture prior to scoffing.

From Fast To Slow

Well the last few weeks I have been diving into the world of slow carbing. I have been right on the ball with the "no sugar" and loving it, but I am still struggling and trying to manage my blood sugar and constant cravings. I Also in this time have not been eating white bread, grains, and potatoes. I seriously become 'disabled' when I eat them. I Just recently reread "Sweet Poison" and ordered the "Quit Plan" by David Gillespie, and whilst waiting I picked up a copy of a book called "the 4 hr body " by Tim Ferris. Totally love it! I am still reading it in parts, but the whole slow carb thing is working! I am back to eating 3 meals on most days and now not fading out in between meals and rummaging for snacks. My fruit,sugar and white carbs (refined) consumption is down and next to nil! I feel great! Mind you I was feeling great anyway with the removal of sucrose and refined fructose from my diet but I was still having problems with feeling hungry all the time that I ended up taking psyllium husk before each meal or when I was feeling hungry. But since eating slow carbs with each meal (tadah!!!!) I have now ceased rustling around for food mid morning or mid afternoon, particularly around the 3pm slump time.

Meals what they entail!

1 serve of legumes ie beans,lentils, chickpeas or white beans

1 veg serve (greens) spinach, kale or broccoli or any other low carb veg, I just love greens!

1 protein eggs/egg whites(morning) chicken or beef and as much as I can eat to feel full!

Now this might sound boring but I have come up with some fantastic combinations with my amazing culinary skills. Ill post those recipes ASAP.

Faux potatoes= made with cauliflower or parsnip puree

homestyle baked beans with smoked paprika

Dhal= lentils with spices

bean and tuna salad= beans with canned tuna, herbs, lemon and coldpressed oil

chickpea patties= chickpea with parsnip herbs and spice crumbed in almond meal.

more to come! I'll add some more detail In my next post.

Blab

(about my recent fast carb binge experience)

Now here is where this is pretty amazing, and certainly not new to the dieting world. There is a so called "binge" day where you eat pretty much all the junk you want. Well I really am not into abusing my body with take away, sugar, trans fats, additives and all the toxins that come with refined and even hand made food that I have spend the last 2 years avoiding! For a start I have allergies and the ones I know of are sulphur that is used in many many food products(dried fruits, wines,sausages, raw cured meats, sauces and even vanilla extract!) also colourings(benzoates), flavourings/enhancers(MSG) and gums. This does make my lifea tad more labour intense as I have to check everything or make my own foods from scratch grrr!! Anyway how simple can this be? beans, veg and protein simple as! Last weekend I was in Melbourne and I arrived Friday which was still a slow carb day and Saturday being my free day(binge) I think free sounds good binge makes me feel bloated thinking about it and free sounds just like it is...free...free to chose!.So Sat breakfast was provided in the restaurant with the room costs. So when I arrive downstairs and at the breakfast buffet table, there in front laid out on that long table were three very large jars filled with cereals (cornflakes, nutri grain, rice bubbles) milk, low fat milk, soy milk, orange juice, apple juice, white bread, whole grain bread, wholemeal bread and fruit bread (all thick cut), croissants, fruit pastries, yogurt (plain and blueberry), sliced cheese, sliced ham, salami and at the end butter, jams, peanut butter and Vegemite, all piled up in huge bowls.So what did I have? hmm I was excited it was a binge day but quite stressed that it was food that I now eat little of. Well I went for 2 wholemeal toast with butter added a few slices of cheese a heap of ham and a glass of milk then filled my pockets with the mini peanut butter lol! for my snack later as I had a training session with Michelle bridges so I knew I would at least burn of some of what I ate. After training exhausted and having to catch a tram back into the city with 100 other people who did the same session. I had well passed lunch time and totally had no time to eat my planned peanut butter stash and after getting cleaned up and organised I sat down for lunch at 3pm....what did I have? a bowl of pasta and a side serve of seasonal veg with butter. So now full of I went to get ready for our party presentation at Silk Road on Market Place. I arrive dolled up in a line up of 100s of peeps that took 30 minutes plus to enter the venue! Having conversations with the ladies I went with, we all agreed that having stuffing ourselves with a late lunch was a good idea as by now we were all grumbling with the onset of hunger. Ok so as soon as I am in the door a tray of wine stops at my side,hmmm decisions ..ok one red wine...and yes!! very yummy! So t cut a story short had a fantastic night!! 6 wines and a shot of Frangelico with lime, a few morsels of food scavenged amongst 700 guests I then swayed walk back to the motel with a stop at the 7/11 bought and scoffed a meat pie then bed and crashed!

Sunday I really did not cope with the carbs and wine from the day before and craved more!! there was no where else I could go this early and open for a slow carb breakfast. So once again I had my toast and cheese with a coffee but this time I had 2 lots grrr!! 4 toast with butter,cheese and ham!!! so that's 2 days of 'fast carbing"!!! oh no!! Monday will be my saving day I prayed!. It was our flight back home, so I had plain yogurt with a big handful of raw walnuts a coffee and the rest of the bag of nuts to get me through the day. So nuts for lunch and on arriving home made my beans and eggs with spinach for tea, phew!! what a weekend.

So the Amazing Bit!

My weight gain!! drum roll! ..... I have pretty much stayed the same. My weigh prior to the weekend was 94.4 (premenstrual) and my current weight is 94.8kg. So as Tim Ferris states in his book women really should not rely on accuracy with scale numbers 10 days before menstruation( I gain up to 3kgs) and you will always gain weight and when you have had your scheduled binge day (I had 2) expect more gain.I just cant figure out with the "carbing weight" and if I have put it on, or its has evened out due to some fat loss, let alone where my Premenstrual weight has gone. I guess I will find this out after this period(hopes for a decent fat loss). To assist me I hope to create a chart to record weights during cycle and carb times to help keep my motivation when the scales numbers increase.

Jen :)