Well I am back-re surfaced from my deep dark abyss, and yes it has been way too long. For me last year I guess was a year of discovery. I think once again that pulled me through a very dark time between June and November last year. I had stopped all control on my eating, stopped exercising, stopped Karate, in fact I almost halted! I put back on all the weight I had thought I worked so hard to get, now I say I 'thought' because I don't think I worked that hard at all, sure yeah! eating less and moving more takes effort and you can do that temporarily, but the real work comes from the "head work" which I never did, I just thought I did. I realised now that I focused so much on what I could not control, rather than what I could. I let problem/s control me, and me not controlling them. I have had some amazing shifts emotionally in which I hope to share with you on the way as I progress. The biggest one is those feelings of self doubt which 'flash' in every now and then, they remind me of feelings of my 'old self' and rush through my body like a HOT river and leave a burning sensation. Now this happens in seconds and previously (my old self) would respond by having thoughts of " I can't do this, I just cant vision myself looking like I want". My self worth would plummet, then either would send me the fridge, ABANDON my plans or become highly REACTIVE to all around me which leads me to Another break through I had, with my BRAIN! As a child I witnessed many terrible things, a child should NEVER have to experience and this wired my brain to be REACTIVE, from all the stress and the cortisol that bathed my brain frequently would lead me into a life of a highly reactive person and I never realised, I just thought my behaviour was, well just me and how it was. So basically when I respond to stress I don't have a "step ladder" response in dealing with situations. I react immediately, so I had no coping mechanisms, no thinking time I just BANG! reacted. God! what a relief! I never knew this until I was at a training session and a random comment came from the facilitator that got me thinking, HOLY MOLY that's me! that's what happened to me and why I am like this. Well now after reading and some self education I am well on the way to dealing with it. I feel more peaceful and calmer, in fact I felt that right from the moment I heard that comment. So nearly all my life I have been living in a "fight or flight" response my poor adrenals had been doing massive overtime to the point of adrenal exhaustion.
So where am I now.....well its 2012 I am feeling emotionally the best ever! I have a plan, and some beautiful tools to get me going again on my path of my FAT SUBTRACTION. I have decided to shift my focus off of my fat and on some 'doing goals' that is I will only focus on what I DO and not the result, if that make sense. That is- I will body build-strength train 3 days a week, I will do specific cardio training on 3 other days of the week and follow a specific FEEDING plan. THAT'S IT! Notice I said FEEDING, not DIET not NUTRITION......FEEDING! I think feeding sounds more nurturing, like breastFEEDING, have you FED the kids yet?(I often ask my husband) I dont say are you breastDIETING your baby, or did you DIET the kids yet? lol! so yeah Its JEN's FEEDING PLAN! YAY!!!!
so let me back track a bit, in December I was feeling really motivated again, and read some amazing stuff that really did help me get back on track, I came across a 2012 diary, not an ordinary one I would have to say extraordinary and pretty special called CREATING MY GODDESS YEAR workbook and planner!! just what I have been looking for and its just divine I love it. So today I will officially let go of 2011 and go through a magical journey with this book you can find it at http://www.goddessguidebook.com/now-is-the-perfect-time-to/ So if you need some inner guidance and want to achieve emotionally, spiritually and physically then this book is for you!!
Another read that brought so much out for me with my thinking and habits, is Tom Venuto's The Body Fat Solution. I really thought this book would be cut and dry and all brawn, but I was wrong! Tom has educated himself really well and wow! was really awoken by some of the stuff he had to say about creating habits, your beliefs, re-framing with words, re-framing meanings,installing new success beliefs, freedom from emotional eating and a good section on your BRAIN and the list goes on. I have read a lot of books and this one is the best by far a must read!!
Ok back to my plan again- for those of you who don't know already I am PALEO now and this is my plan
1. body building plan/diary(printed out and in a folder)
2.Feeding plan (printed out and in a folder )
3.2012 work book and planner
4. Crono-meter and a printed out food diary
5. all my gym equipment
6. COMMITMENT - I am committed to create a body that will keep me alive, raise, nurture, educate and protect my family and save my life or some one else, if needed.
Now I know this commitment sounds unlike any one's or even my previous written commitment. It certainly isn't focused on vanity-although looking good is a bonus. It came from a statement or definition of fitness made my Mark Sisson (Primal blueprint) Basically being fit is being able to save your life, so for example pull yourself out of danger, swim out of a rip, carrying or dragging some one to safety. If you think about it, this could mean a family member. Now I am not being obsessed about this and certainly not a morbid focus, its a PRIMAL approach, purposeful and a good way of thinking instead of using physical image and recognising that a strong fit healthy person can actually have physical capabilities rather than standing around looking scrumptious all the time lol!
So there you have it a brief update and to where I am heading- fully Primal !
Paleo JEn xxx
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